Rachel and I do perfectly fine, thank you very fucking much. And we manage to have an amazing sex life in an actual bed instead of all over the apartment.
Variety is the spice of life.

Fuck off, Santana! What the hell is your problem lately? Is it your time of month or some bullshit?
Says the girl raging over a little kitchen counter sex?

Sounds like someone can’t take a joke. Clearly you do need the sex tips, because whatever you’re doing isn’t helping your attitude at all.
It’s not defensive, it’s truth. We do perfectly without any outside input. And we will continue to do so.
Alright Vanilla, fine, I’ll leave it alone. But only because I don’t need Fabray trying to poison my coffee or some shit.

Lemme just say this: Kitchen Sex? Totally underrated.
Quinn and I are just fine thank you.
Defensive aren’t you, that’s never a good sign? You want some tips? I’ve got lots’a wisdom I could impart.

I don’t know what you mean by that.
I’m sure I’ve had to deal with more of those situations than you have
You know what Berry, I ain’t even gonna argue with you there.

But Britt and I together are as sexy as it gets, you can totally use it as inspiration for you and Fabray. I won’t mind.