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This is It

britt-in-nyc:

It was finally here. Brittany had woken up at the crack of dawn, too excited to continue sleeping, which was followed by making breakfast for her girl and good morning kisses, well, mostly kisses.. okay it started as kisses. The pancakes were cold by the time they got around to eating them, whipped cream all melted and runny, but totally still delicious all the same. There was really no need for her to have been up that early, considering the moving truck hadn’t been due to arrive until after lunch, but Brittany felt like a kid on Christmas. She couldn’t sit still. She had been looking forward to today all week, she might have finished packing all her stuff in boxes about a week before. She was excited, but could you really blame her? Her and Santana were moving into their own apartment, they were engaged, this time next year they would be wives. The smile on her face was blinding. Bring it on, she is so ready.

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Getting their stuff to the new apartment took forever. From the old place to the truck, from the truck up to the new place. So many stairs, so much stuff. The movers mostly just complained about how women have too much stuff, and in the moment Brittany had to agree, but finally everything was moved and now they both stood in the middle of the apartment, surrounded by boxes. “This must be what Godzilla feels like.”

Santana likes to play off the fact that she is a total badass, because seriously, she is, but the thing is that she’s horrible with change. Terrible with it, to be completely honest. And while this move with Brittany is absolutely everything she’s ever wanted, she can’t help but feel nervous. It was a ridiculous feeling and she knew it, but to this day she still can’t believe she and Brittany about to get their happy ending. It all feels too good to be true. 

Still, Brittany’s megawatt smile eases the worry that has lodged itself in Santana’s stomach. One look at her fiance, standing proudly amidst an array of boxes, is enough to have her heart beating right out of her chest. One look at Brittany and Santana forgets the painful goodbye Quinn, the way the movers manhandled her box of vintage records, and she even forgets the teeth punctures on her arm from Oscar’s moving anxiety. She can’t help the grin that spreads across her face to match Brittany’s and she pushes herself up from her spot on the floor. 

Santana hums her agreement and closes the distance between them, placing her palms on Brittany’s waist. “Maybe, but I’m sure he never felt as beautiful as you look right now.”

 Santana Lopez Tomorrow I’m moving into my first place with the love of my life. Haters to the left, we made it Britt Britt
Like · Comment · Share April 02 at 9:30 PM

❤  Kurt Hummel and 14 others like this
Quinn Fabray About time, I’ll finally be able to sit on our couches again.

❤ 15 likes 

@snixpix These days she’s the only thing that keeps me sane. I don’t care what anyone says I’ve never been happier waking up to this sight every morning.  (via instagram)

Some Wounds Never Heal || Santana
  • Time Frame: 10 PM EST
  • Location: Outside the Spotlight Diner
  • Characters Involved: Santana Lopez and Alma Lopez
  • Characters Mentioned: Brittany Pierce
  • Notes: Santana doesn’t expect her Abuela to answer the phone and when she does it’s clear nothing has changed

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A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

As Santana moves away from her, Brittany pouts and looks down at her crossed legs, playing with the hem of her jeans. She feels like maybe suggesting that was the wrong thing to say and Santana was right, what if she didn’t answer? That would probably just make things worse for Santana. Brittany looked up and offered the best smile she could. She knew this was hard for Santana, but even still she was never one to give up so easily. Always determined. “Leave her a message and try again. Tell her all about how Santana Lopez is gonna be a star. You know she misses you, S. Tell her everything, I bet she’ll love it.”

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"You’re right Britt." She swallows again, hugging herself tighter. "I’ll give her a call later tonight."

There’s a second hesitation, “Can just sit here awhile first?” She doesn’t want to admit how much it all is hurting. A small part of her feels like it’s dying, but being around Brittany, even with space between them, makes it all just a little better. “I wish i didn’t have to work tonight.”

A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

Brittany knew that wasn’t the case, sure plane tickets were expensive and with the wedding and move they were on a tight budget, but she knew Santana would be there in a heart beat and that they would sort something out to make it work. Brittany didn’t call her out on her lie though, knowing full well Santana didn’t want to talk about the truth of the matter, so she simply sighed and sat there, forehead to Santana’s, eyes closed. “You could try calling her?” Again Brittany knew that her grandmother probably didn’t want to talk to her anymore than see her, and Brittany saw now where her fiance’s stubbornness came from. It  Despite bring stubborn though, she knew the old woman must want to hear from her granddaughter. It’s been years, and Brittany was sure she wouldn’t want to die having not heard from her at all. “It’s worth a try.”

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"I guess." She breaks away from Brittany. Her arms wrap around her middle and she shuffles to the other side of the couch. She could call. She really could, and she probably will, but knowing that the answering machine is all she’s likely to get, punches a hole straight through her heart. "You’re right. It is worth a try."

Santana swallows. “And if she doesn’t answer…?”

A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

Brittany practically cringes at Santana’s words, hating the way her voice quivers and breaks when she speaks. Sure she’s hear to comfort and protect, but Brittany wishes there’s more she can do, like turn back time or heal her abuela so this didn’t have to happen. “Why don’t you fly back to Lima to see her?” Brittany suggested, but she bit her lip. It was heart breaking that she was pretty darn sure she knew the answer to that before Santana even said it. 

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Brittany grabs Santana’s face gently, brushing her thumbs across her cheeks to cut over the path of tears. She kisses each trail gently and presses their foreheads together.

It’s second nature to lean into Brittany’s touch. Her eyes flutter shut and her whole body melts into Brittany’s. She is glad her eyes are close because it’s easier to push back the tears that are threatening to fall again. “Plane tickets to Lima are expensive.”

 She says in a voice barely above a whisper. She doesn’t lie for Britt’s benefit. They’ve been together long enough for Brittany to know exactly how Alma Lopez operates. Santana can’t bring herself to voice the truth. It had been hard enough hearing her mother tell her, kindly, not to bother with a plane ticket. If she admitted it out loud, it became all too real that one of the most important figures in her life still wanted nothing to do with her. Even after all these years. 

A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

Curling around Santana, chin resting gently on top of her head, Brittany waits patiently. It breaks her heart even more hear those cries, Santana was usually so strong and watching her fall apart was always hard for Brittany. In a perfect world Santana would never have to hurt, well in a perfect would she like it if no one ever had to hurt ever, but especially Santana. One of her hands continued their soothing patterns up and down he arm, while the other brushed through the ends over her dark hair. Brittany wasn’t even sure how long it had been, but after a while Santana shifted and spoke. For a moment she was at a loss for words, what are you supposed to say to something like that? People always said sorry, but Brittany never understood why and she wasn’t about to tell Santana she was sorry in this situation. That’s not what Santana needed. Brittany had only met her Abuela a few times, mostly at birthdays and things, but she always remembered her to be a sweet old lady. Even after she had basically disowned her own granddaughter for being gay, Brittany had always had faith she would understand, maybe even come to the wedding. The thought that Santana might not get that caused a lump to form in her throat and she swallowed.

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She pulled Santana against her tightly, as if squeezing her would wring out the bad stuff. Brittany gave them some more silence before speaking. “How bad is it?”

"She’s okay." Her hand unclenches from Brittany’s shirt, but her fingers remain against the fabric, soothing out the wrinkles she had created. "Right now at least." She takes a big breath, trying to loosen the knot in her chest. "It’s pancreatic, so it’s aggressive." Santana shifts, drawing away from Brittany enough that she can see her face. "They say she has a year. Maybe a little less."

It’s enough to break Santana’s heart. her Abuela had practically raised her as a child while her parents had been busy at work. For the first time since they had arrived at their little apartment, Santana found herself regretting the move to New York. Because even though she wasn’t wanted, Santana desired nothing more than to be right there at the hospital with her grandmother. Santana hiccups. “I miss her so much.”

A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

The look on Santana’s face breaks her heart and sends her mind reeling in an attempt to answer her own question as to what might be wrong. Her heart is breaking and clenching simultaneously and their hands find each other, squeezing. Oscar perches himself on the opposite arm of the couch, watching them closely, Brittany smiles just slightly at the fact that he’s far to proud to show that he’s totally just as concerned as she is. “You’re scaring me, baby.” She whispers, making herself comfy on the large couch and Santana burrows into her, once they settle like that she wraps her arms around her fiance protectively and squeezes, lightly tracing patterns against the bare skin of Santana’s arm. They sit sit like that in silence, and though her mind is still whirring with any sort of possibility, she gives Santana all the time she needs. They had been in situations like this enough in their lives together for her to know that sometimes Santana just needed to cry quietly and be held.

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"I’m here."

Brittany doesn’t push, she let’s her cry, and it’s just another reason in a long list of reasons why they are prefect for each other. She tries to tell Brittany about the phone call home several times, but the words won’t stop catching in her throat and so she sits there, crying into her shoulder. One hand fists itself in the fabric of Brittany’s shirt and she takes a shuddering breath. Time is still an ambiguous concept and she’s not sure how long she’s been crying, but through her tears she hears the echo of Brittany’s confession. You’re scaring me. It feels like a delayed response, but finally her body begins to relax. She doesn’t unfurl herself from her position. Brittany is warm and solid and she’s afraid if she pulls away now, she’ll crumble into nothing. It takes a few more moments to bring her breathing under control but when she does, she shifts her head so that her cheek is pressed to Brittany’s collarbone and she can see the underside of her chin. “My mom called today.” Her voice is scratchy and she loathes how small she sounds. “Abuela…” She doesn’t get far before the tears start to well again.

"It’s cancer Britt."

A Rock and a Hard Place

britt-in-nyc:

Hours had passed, this was probably her fifth time calling, and Brittany was all but sprinting down the sidewalk toward their apartment building. At first, when she’d been sending text after text with no response she thought maybe she was just worrying over nothing, just coming off as a clingy, panicky fiance, but it was unlike Santana to go this long without answering a single text, usually she checked up between classes, called during lunch. Then Brittany had resorted to calling Dani because the worry was getting too much and when their friend had no idea where Santana was, Brittany’s stomach clenched painfully, heart in her throat. Without so much as a word to David that she wouldn’t make it to practice, Brittany found herself unlocking the door to the apartment, greeted by a rather worried looking plump cat. “Santana?!” Several emotions passed over her when she noticed her fiance sitting on the couch. “What the h-” As the initial worry and relief ebbed, anger took over for a moment, which was unlike Brittany, but when you’ve spent the entire day wondering where the hell the love of your life is and then come home just to find her casually sitting on the couch, she thought she had the right to be a little angry. Getting a better look at Santana’s face though, the worry surfaced again and she was kneeling before her, pulling the phone from her hand. “S, what’s wrong?”

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Santana registers the anger in Brittany’s face through a haze, but she doesn’t look up. She wants to reassure Brittany, to sooth the worry she can hear in her voice, but she can’t bring herself to even look up. She feels detached from her body, unaware, so much so that she doesn’t realize Brittany has moved forward until she’s kneeling in front of Santana. It feels like no small feat when Santana finally lifts her gaze to look at Brittany. She attempts to crack a reassuring smile, but the hand around her heart squeezes and she manages only a small gasp of air. her hand shakes as she reaches for Brittany, tangling their fingers together. “Hi Britt.” Her voice sounds far away even to her own ears. She tries to put on a brave face, but she never could lie to Brittany. Her facade cracks and tears begin to sting at the backs of her eyes. 

Her grip tightens around Brittany’s hand and she tugs, attempting to pull her up on to the couch with her. When Brittany joins her, she curls her body into her front, and buries her head into her chest.