'Sup Tumblr, the name is Santana Lopez but if you didn't already know that go kill yourself. I'm from good old Bumblefuck Nowhere, also known as Lima Ohio, but now I'm living it big here in New York while pursuing a pre-med degree at NYU. One of these days I'm going to be a successful plastic surgeon, but until then I bartend and occassionally waitress over at TGI Friday's; come check me out I'm the hottest piece of ass there.
I currently live with my best friend Quinn Fabray and my amazing girlfriend, now fiance, Brittany S. Pierce. Britt is my rock and everything I've ever wanted so do me a favor and keeps your eyes and hands off. I really can't make an orange jumpsuit work.
Basically my life is better than yours. Me Gusta.
Q: How is it not the same? Please explain how asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you is so vastly different from someone asking the person they already plan on spending a good portion of their life with to move in. And when I hear from that photography expert that /you/ helped me set up my portfolio with, you and Britt won't have to worry about double shifts. It's a paid internship, I'll have a better income, everything will be fine.
Santana: How is it different let's see. Just because you live with someone doesn't mean you're asking them to spend the rest of your life together. I get it, moving in is a big deal for you, fine, whatever. But she's been here three months Quinn, she practically lives here already. Rent free. And you making more isn't the point. It just isn't fair. Get your shit together I'm not asking for you to walk down the aisle in a white dress.
Q: How's the cold feet? Remember, the ones you had when you first showed me the damn ring. When you came into my room and fed me soup and bacon. Remember how I actually /helped/ your sorry ass? How I didn't do shit like this to you. Way to return the favor.
Santana: Fabray you are such a bitch. This isn't even remotely the same situation. How about you take your diapers off and look at this situation like an adult. Do you know how often I actually see Britt these days? Not a whole hell of a lot considering how hard I work to help pay /our/ bills. What the hell is your problem, she even said she wouldn't mind paying.
Q: Excuse me? I...don't even know what to say to you right now. You can't just ask someone to start paying rent. That'd be me asking her to /move in/ with me you do realize. She's not getting kicked to the curb and I'm not going to ask her to move in. She's a /guest/ and will stay as one.
Santana: What so the rest of us have to pay for the fact that you're afraid of commitment? She's been a 'guest' here for three months. We have bills to pay. I work extra shifts and so do you and Britt to afford this place and she uses our electricity, our heat, and our power and doesn't pay a cent. I don't fucking care if she moves in or not but do something about this or you can count my payment out.
Q: San, seriously, woo her. Do something that just blows her mind, and not sexually /romantically/ show her what she's missing by being a total sap. And don't look at your phone like that, I'm being serious. Take her to a fair or something. Or to a pond and have a picnic where you feed the ducks or something. Be a romantic and see what happens, if that doesn't work, then pull the sexy card.
Q: And you should know I wouldn't be the best to go to for this. I was self-deprived of sex, not forcibly..so what would I know?
San: Alright, whatever, maybe you have a point. I guess Valentines Day, as fucking cliche as it is, is a good excuse as any to be romantic huh? Shit.
San: How'd that go by the way, Imma assume you got our cake. I haven't seen either of you run screaming from the apartment so I guess it went well? I hope it did, you deserve it.
Q: It's /sex/ Santana....maybe you should think about how she feels seeing you freak out so much over it? I mean..if I were her watching you throw a fit because the sex was gone, I'd be slightly worried that you might go look somewhere else.
Q: If anything, just pull a few tricks to get her to cave. Walk around naked when both Rachel and I /AREN'T/ there.
San: Hold up, no one asked for douche bag Q to rear their ugly head, fuck you. But maybe you're right. But she knows I'd never...That never even crossed my mind.
San: But common a little sympathy here, I haven't been deprived of sex in years.